Twitaceous Era 37: A friendly handshake and a dry hump

This week on my Twitter feed I have Opinions about next year's Globe summer season, because of course I do.

I love how A Number attracts so many real father/son actors despite the relationship being so twisted. Yet more proof actors are weirdos.
5:57 PM - 19 Nov 2014

So far: Leg injury and fairytales #intervaltweets
8:54 PM - 19 Nov 2014

The cat's got a furball stuck in his throat. Mum & stepdad are now calling him "poor little sick soldier" because my family is certifiable.
3:57 PM - 20 Nov 2014

Twitaceous Era 31: "Too Apocalyptic"

This week on my Twitter feed I take a break from sitting in a dark room watching a play, to sit in a dark room watching a film.

I'm at the ballet tonight BECAUSE CULTURE. Lithe, partially-clad culture.
6:48 PM - 8 Oct 2014

So... did they just decapitate a littlun, or was a pig meant have just turned up because of reasons? #intervaltweets
8:41 PM - 8 Oct 2014

Finally off to see Pride. You've probably all built it up too much so if I hate it I'll blame you.
3:19 PM - 9 Oct 2014

Twitaceous Era 22: Electric Boogaloo

This week on my Twitter feed: Strallens, sequels and Scissor Sisters.

Caved and got a standing ticket to see Celia Imrie do cabaret next week, because of course I did.
12:03 PM - 6 Aug 2014

I may have enjoyed this for reasons other than the Buzzfeed parody: http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-chris-pratt-gifs-will-make-you-say-yup-here-per-680 … via @clickhole
FAVORITE 1
4:04 PM - 6 Aug 2014

Why yes, I *have* continued to amuse myself since last night by thinking of new Strallen names.It's hard to come up with an implausible one.
5:23 PM - 6 Aug 2014

Twitaceous Era 12: Quite traumatising to watch

This week on my Twitter feed, much is made of the evils of flirtation.

Charlie Cox is Daredevil? Gingers just can't catch a break, even in a role specifically written for them.
10:44 AM - 28 May 2014

"his oversized nipples jut" #bloghitsoftheweek To be fair that does sound like something I'd write.
2:36 PM - 28 May 2014

I think one of the hot boys might have been flirting with me this morning. Obviously I've been nervously avoiding eye contact ever since.
FAVORITE 1
4:33 PM - 28 May 2014

Dick Twittington 43: Bullocks

This week on my Twitter feed was the first of 2014. It was the first week of 2014 elsewhere as well, but that's not important right now.

Happy New Year, the Twitter. Let's hope 2014 blesses the world with the greatest gift of all: Less Barlow on the telly.
12:02 AM - 1 Jan 14

2014's first Theatrical Spot: Noma Dumezweni dodging my friend Phill & calling him "darlin'" by the Noël Coward stage door.
2:14 PM - 1 Jan 14

Well, thanks to the Odeon Leicester Square selling the same seats twice, I guess we're not seeing Sandra Bullock In Space today!
4:17 PM - 1 Jan 14

Dick Twittington 42: #ShitsingHair

For the last week of 2013 on my Twitter feed, Christmas happens. This may not be an entirely surprising turn of events.

Happy Christmukah, The Twitter.
9:47 AM - 25 Dec 13

Man with, beard, Christmas jumper & baby strapped to chest in Dulwich Park. I can feel Twitter's ovaries exploding from here.
12:27 PM - 25 Dec 13

Starting my review/awards of the year post, I've already awarded Best Nipples.I just can't fathom why the Oliviers committee didn't want me.
1 FAVORITE
2:08 PM - 25 Dec 13

Nodded off. Dreamt Lord Lucan resurfaced on Come Dine With Me.
7:21 PM - 25 Dec 13

Dick Twittington 22: D'you know who she was fingering?

This week on my Twitter feed: Very little, frankly. I know it's the Silly Season but I'm not the papers, I don't have to say stuff for the sake of it. Which admittedly is what my Twitter feed consists of at the best of times, but shh.

@stephenfry "Stephen Fry is an attention-seeker" says Steven Berkoff. At which point the very concept of irony implodes.
2 RETWEETS Autism N.Ireland, Kirsten SE
10:05 AM - 8 Aug 13

"Dental Surgery & Sunbed." Now there's a combo. Do they offer both services at the same time?
9:09 PM - 8 Aug 13


@merseytart I saw a girl with a pierced cleavage once. I saw it, but I still don't know how it's physically possible.
4:28 PM - 9 Aug 13

Dick Twittingon 16: Things are gonna get classy

This week on my Twitter feed it's London Pride. So I go to it. I don't tweet much about it though so that's all kind of irrelevant. Here's what I did tweet about.

Oops - got an email to say The Drowned Man's been cancelled tonight.
1:42 PM - 26 Jun 13

Alex's umbrella isn't for the rain, he's protecting himself from daylight #apprentice
2 FAVORITES
9:11 PM - 26 Jun 13

Myles clearly trying to rip off Horrible Histories there. But with horrible food. #apprentice
9:13 PM - 26 Jun 13