Alumni day

I kept waking up in the night so remembering bits of dreams; I dreamt that I'd gone back to Exeter to visit my old university drama department. The current students included a middle-aged Italian woman who was accompanied everywhere by several elderly nuns; she also spoke no English so took a male interpreter with her everywhere, including to the toilet. There were also two Quidditch teams, one of which all had dyed purple hair and carried broomsticks, the other were all blind. I turned to whoever I was there with* and said "the current students aren't as good as our year, our eccentricities were nowhere near as contrived."

*I always seem to have someone to talk to in dreams but no idea who it is, so it might just be me doing a Miranda turn to camera.

Ad break for sociopaths

Been a while since I blogged a dream but I nodded off a little while ago and ended up with a two-parter, both parts set in a dark conference centre with maze-like corridors. To start with I was there for a job interview, but after six hours of waiting it was announced that the interviewers had seen the minimum amount of people they had to so would be packing up now - there followed a frenzy of people in suits, the interviewers, trying to get out, clearing all their things and locking up behind them. I realised I'd left my bag behind, and needed to shoulder my way into the doors to get them to unlock them and let me back in.

I managed to find my bag but on the way out, although the location was the same, now I was starring in a TV advert for a hit-man service, playing the victim. A doorbell rang and I walked through a number of corridors to answer it, while a calm American woman's voice narrated "Problems with your staff? Osama & Papa Enterprises can help. This worker made jokes at work and reduced productivity." As I went through one corridor, I saw a waitress with a trolley of tinned food, all with cheap-looking labels that said "Osama & Papa Enterpises," she said to me "New supplier!" I kept going to the door where another waitress was waiting, but woke up before I found out whether she was the one who was going to kill me, or if the tins of food were poisoned or a bomb.

Twitaceous Era 53: 21st century urchin

This week on my Twitter feed, that accent is apparently called "Multicultural London."

You know the accent Harry Melling does in peddling? What do you reckon actors call that on their Spotlight page?
10:46 AM - 11 Mar 2015

@Weez I'm basically asking what the Charmian Hoare-approved, non-offensive term for "chavvy accent" is.

11:03 AM - 11 Mar 2015

 

@Weez "21st century urchin."

11:06 AM - 11 Mar 2015

Twitaceous Era 50: Ooh, haze effects!

This week I was ill so my Twitter feed is likely to make even less sense than usual.

Pearce Brosnan thinks Idris Elba should be James Bond. Or Colin Salmon. Or Daniel Craig. He doesn't care, stop asking him about James Bond.
8:19 AM - 18 Feb 2015

The people who can answer any question except the one they've been asked are out in force today.
3:46 PM - 18 Feb 2015

Last night's fever was so bad my legs stopped working. Scary. But slightly like a fairground ride.
12:12 PM - 19 Feb 2015

Twitaceous Era 37: A friendly handshake and a dry hump

This week on my Twitter feed I have Opinions about next year's Globe summer season, because of course I do.

I love how A Number attracts so many real father/son actors despite the relationship being so twisted. Yet more proof actors are weirdos.
5:57 PM - 19 Nov 2014

So far: Leg injury and fairytales #intervaltweets
8:54 PM - 19 Nov 2014

The cat's got a furball stuck in his throat. Mum & stepdad are now calling him "poor little sick soldier" because my family is certifiable.
3:57 PM - 20 Nov 2014

Twitaceous Era 27: A Bond villain's staff meeting

This week on my Twitter feed is another theatre-heavy one, with lots of show announcements and me running around town trying to get from one show to the next...

I'd have preferred a completely new production but glad to see Rupert Goold's not ruling out Shakespeare at the Almeida.
10:49 AM - 10 Sep 2014

Charing Cross pic.twitter.com/oQGMzs3uVa
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3:06 PM - 10 Sep 2014

Beardy-without-the-beard Spot: Andy Rush at St James Theatre.
7:01 PM - 10 Sep 2014

Dick Twittington 31: "I'm so excited"

This week on my Twitter feed has been one of those quiet ones.

Oh, so the lift at the Royal Court is making "aaargh!" noises again.
7:01 PM - 9 Oct 13

"The performance lasts 70 minutes without interval" #themostbeautifulsoundthatieverheard
7:15 PM - 9 Oct 13

I had a "back at school" dream so convincing it was actually a relief to wake up and remember I'm nearly 40 and work in an office.
10:12 AM - 10 Oct 13

Dick Twittington 28: Normal decent people

This week on my Twitter feed, theatre provides me with disappointments, but on the other hand it also has more topless wresting so *scales gesture*

Irate customer: "You most certainly did NOT send me a reminder email!" Me: "Really? That's weird cause... you replied to it."
10:28 AM - 18 Sep 13

Are there any show pics online of the *relevant* people in Midsummer Night's Dream? You know who I mean. Google is failing me.
12:22 PM - 18 Sep 13

OK, the official Grandage Season website does have some photos acknowledging that AMND is more than just one scene, so that's something.
5:54 PM - 18 Sep 13

Dick Twittington 25: HIT IT WITH A HAMMER!

This week work has shamelessly got in the way of my talking bollocks on the internet, so my Twitter feed has been on the quiet side.

Finsbury Park http://twitpic.com/daqr6f
3:37 PM - 28 Aug 13

Ooh, I'm tired. *Hot Boy In Suit walks past with perky nipples poking through shirt* HELLO, I AM WIDE AWAKE.
3:28 PM - 29 Aug 13



Tube train gets stuck halfway along platform at Clapham North. Driver's solution: HIT IT WITH A HAMMER! This strategy is successful :o
9:40 PM - 29 Aug 13

Dick Twittington 19: The universe's plan for me

This week on my Twitter feed, the Globe is full of actors (and not just on stage) and I'm full of cake. Also, some woman is no longer full of a baby.

Just had to get a new Oyster card for the first time. Think the ticket office were shocked the old one had lasted so long.
7:17 PM - 17 Jul 13

Propeller are dealing with the weather by doing the interval entertainment outdoors.
9:02 PM - 18 Jul 13

Theatrical Spot: Hipster Tranio at, funnily enough, Shrew at Hampstead. He's wearing a vest. Calm yourselves, ladies.
9:11 PM - 18 Jul 13

Dick Twittington 4: Danny's hairy arms

This week on my Twitter feed was, like most people's Twitter feeds, dominated by Thatcher's death and the wildly varied responses to it. But I also found time to discuss the equally harrowing matter of the new series of The Voice. And my job search continues to be frustratingly fruitless...

Bruno Mars is an abomination. Not apropos anything, it just bears mentioning now and then.
10:05 AM - 3 Apr 13

When did "customer service" become a euphemism for glorified chugging?A job interview that wasn't a waste of time would be a nice change ta.
2:45 PM - 3 Apr 13



Victoria. Um, something a bit rude seems to be going on in the middle there. http://twitpic.com/cgpy2n
1 FAVORITE
6:08 PM - 3 Apr 13

Dick Twittington 3: *Apprentice style*

This week on my Twitter feed my bus journeys seem to feature "colourful" characters as a matter of course.

I love when a pigeon waddles desperately out of the way of a car. You can fly, you thick bastard!
9:24 AM - 27 Mar 13

For GCSE, spellcheck suggests GEESE.
10:30 PM - 27 Mar 13

Pretty sure I'm the only person in the country watching Anna & Katy. Which is a shame.
12:37 PM - 28 Mar 13

Twitterball 52: Pope Shamazing

This week on my Twitter feed I collect a couple more labyrinths on the Underground, watch the last-ever Being Human and make my prediction for the next Pope.

More disappointed audiences at the O2 last night as J*st*n Bi*b*r actually turns up.

9:38 AM - Mar 6, 2013

Nothing wrong with a good sitcom. And it's got a Kitchen Sink #intervaltweets

8:45 PM - Mar 6, 2013

More underground labyrinths collected: Swiss Cottage. http://twitpic.com/c9cg1x 

1:03 PM - Mar 7, 2013