Twitaceous era 29: A low tolerance for acrobats

This week on my Twitter feed I'm terrorised by corporate fun and a public speaker who shouldn't.

Today I'll be livetweeting my firm's mandatory "fun" day at the O2. Because if I have to suffer so do you.
FAVORITE 1
9:47 AM - 24 Sep 2014

Colleague: "Having known Nick for a year I'm pretty confident he's going to hate this more than anyone here."
10:02 AM - 24 Sep 2014

Well someone was singing "Don't Stop Believing" before we even entered the venue, so he's not wrong.
10:03 AM - 24 Sep 2014

We have flashing wristbands. Yay! Accountancy!
10:38 AM - 24 Sep 2014

Dick Twittington 40: Turned on beyond endurance

This week is a non-stop parade of filth on my Twitter feed.

Catching up with Only Connect. Hywel naming mathematical terms is strangely arousing.
1 FAVORITE
2:58 PM - 11 Dec 13

@bridgetorr I'm genuinely baffled by Twitter wetting its knickers over Kester and not noticing Hywel's existence.
3:11 PM - 11 Dec 13


"He needs to show me more respect innit - I'm his friend's best friend's cousin!" #overheardonthebus
9:33 PM - 12 Dec 13

Dick Twittington 30: No effect on me

This week on my Twitter feed, booking theatre tickets gets tricky.

"Ohmygod a banjo!" says the girl sitting behind me. And it wasn't even @Weez #intervaltweets
9:08 PM - 3 Oct 13

Today's Evil Corporate lunch was venison medallions. THAT'S BAMBI BURGERS TO YOU! #Itoldyouitwasevil
2:54 PM - 4 Oct 13

This week since our manager quit has been our most efficient ever. Do try to look surprised.
5:49 PM - 4 Oct 13

Dick Twittington 21: The huskier gentleman

This week on my Twitter feed the new Doctor is announced. I mean, he's not announced on my Twitter feed. He's announced on a worldwide simulcast live TV show. But I then comment about it on my Twitter feed, which amounts to much the same thing.

"London's Air Ambulance" just drove past. Drove, as in, it's a car. I don't think they get what the"air" part means.
7:08 PM - 1 Aug 13

The new type of Caffe Nero milkshake may have finally discovered a concentration of sugar that's too much for me.
7:28 PM - 1 Aug 13

Wow, there is one bloody aggressive moth in this kitchen! It keeps dive-bombing into my face.
11:08 PM - 1 Aug 13