my Twitter feed I'm terrorised by corporate fun and a public speaker who shouldn't.
Today I'll be livetweeting my firm's mandatory "fun" day at the O2. Because if I have to suffer so do you.
9:47 AM - 24 Sep 2014
Colleague: "Having known Nick for a year I'm pretty confident he's going to hate this more than anyone here."
10:02 AM - 24 Sep 2014
Well someone was singing "Don't Stop Believing" before we even entered the venue, so he's not wrong.
10:03 AM - 24 Sep 2014
We have flashing wristbands. Yay! Accountancy!
10:38 AM - 24 Sep 2014
The unemployed actor doing the announcements just listed his entire CV. "You might have seen me in Citizen Khan!" Yeah, we might not.
11:16 AM - 24 Sep 2014
We've had Tinie Tempah on to play to his core audience of accountants.
11:57 AM - 24 Sep 2014
There's a skit about the firm's history now. AKA pee break time.
11:58 AM - 24 Sep 2014
We've had tax auditors breakdancing to "Goldfinger" because??!!!!????
12:28 PM - 24 Sep 2014
No, everyone's really into the Global Strategy speech, honest. It's just more people need the loo now than when Tinie Tempah was on.
1:28 PM - 24 Sep 2014
Whoever hired Jamie Oliver to do a speech about empowerment should be fired with extreme prejudice.
2:14 PM - 24 Sep 2014
"I'm no public speaker" says Jamie Oliver, and goes on to prove it.
2:15 PM - 24 Sep 2014
Like any other time three or more people are looking in the same direction, Stomp turned up. See also: Suggs.
2:31 PM - 24 Sep 2014
No really though, Madness turned up as well.
2:41 PM - 24 Sep 2014
Security won't let us take drinks cans in but they still let Tinie tell us to throw bombs on it. Double standards.
3:10 PM - 24 Sep 2014
Yeah, I might skip the video about career advancement in a firm I'll be unemployed from this time next week.
4:01 PM - 24 Sep 2014
Oh, acrobats. I have quite a low tolerance for acrobats.
4:09 PM - 24 Sep 2014
Geldof's here. To be fair even he doesn't seem to know why.
4:56 PM - 24 Sep 2014
Grand finale: Florence and the Latrine. I'm off, there's Shakespeare to be watched.
5:25 PM - 24 Sep 2014
Wrestling with tops on? What is this blasphemy? #intervaltweets
8:54 PM - 24 Sep 2014
A 5-minute interval? Well that's eccentric #intervaltweets
8:23 PM - 25 Sep 2014
"LiLo finds acting a challenge." To be fair, Metro, she finds walking in a straight line a challenge.
9:08 AM - 26 Sep 2014
There's some kind of Nordic deity sitting in my eyeline. You know when you're not sure if you want to shag him or climb him? That.
1:04 PM - 26 Sep 2014
Sleb Spot: Belinda Lang watching a play about plastic surgery *Miranda face to camera*
10:27 PM - 26 Sep 2014
Children's parties now? This pub's morph into Chuck E Cheese continues unabated, I see.
3:09 PM - 27 Sep 2014
Two shows this week I highly recommend: Albion …http://partially-obstructed-view.blogspot.co.uk/2014/09/theatre-review-albion.html … and As You Like It …http://partially-obstructed-view.blogspot.co.uk/2014/09/theatre-review-as-you-like-it-southwark.html …
11:20 AM - 28 Sep 2014
On this week's Family Guy, Peter tried to marry his own son. I didn't realise Jeremy Irons had joined the writing staff.
10:22 PM - 28 Sep 2014
Oh, Sexy Scottish Peter Pan. Yes, I'm quite looking forward to tonight. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BysgaVwIcAESDNz.jpg
11:57 AM - 29 Sep 2014
Sleb Spot: Nigel Harman not having the correct change for a Teh Internet playtext.
7:28 PM - 29 Sep 2014
Oh fine, because apparently I needed to be more obsessed with Sexy Scottish Peter Pan than I was already.
10:27 PM - 29 Sep 2014
I don't know why anyone who calls The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy "some pop-culture thing" thought they stood a chance on Only Connect
5:05 PM - 30 Sep 2014
I'm on the Olivier stage, as has clearly always been my destiny.
7:23 PM - 30 Sep 2014