Dick Twittington 25: HIT IT WITH A HAMMER!

This week work has shamelessly got in the way of my talking bollocks on the internet, so my Twitter feed has been on the quiet side.

Finsbury Park http://twitpic.com/daqr6f
3:37 PM - 28 Aug 13

Ooh, I'm tired. *Hot Boy In Suit walks past with perky nipples poking through shirt* HELLO, I AM WIDE AWAKE.
3:28 PM - 29 Aug 13



Tube train gets stuck halfway along platform at Clapham North. Driver's solution: HIT IT WITH A HAMMER! This strategy is successful :o
9:40 PM - 29 Aug 13

Casual Friday is revealing which of the Hot Boys In Suits have tattoos. #havingthoughts
3:43 PM - 30 Aug 13

I swear the cat could tell I'd had a stressful day and came running in for a cuddle.
7:31 PM - 30 Aug 13

Sounds like the local church is having a disco. "Locked Out Of Heaven" a bit of an interesting musical choice though.
1 RETWEET
9:55 PM - 31 Aug 13

"All you unsavouries / Come and fill your aviaries." Actual lyric from a song in my dream.
7:57 AM - 2 Sep 13

I swear there's more attractive people around in nice weather than in winter. Hibernation must be the secret of their good looks.
7:02 PM - 2 Sep 13

There's a huge poster of Max Irons' face outside Southwark Playhouse. Jeremy's standing by it, wanking :( #incestmakestheheartgrowfonder
7:24 PM - 2 Sep 13

My walk into work is much more depressing now the Old Vic is no longer adorned with giant posters of Seth Numrich's nipples.
1 RETWEET 1 FAVORITE
8:28 AM - 3 Sep 13

@stevenperkins Those poor 50 Shades fans are being treated appallingly. Which, I would have thought, is the sort of thing they like.
3 RETWEETS 2 FAVORITES
4:41 PM - 3 Sep 13