Dick Twittington 11: Herding doctors

This week on my Twitter feed I shoot a man in the face. So, a quiet week.

Don't know why everyone's getting so het up about gifs/jifs. They'll only change the name to Cif as soon as you get used to it.
1 RETWEET 1 FAVORITE
9:11 AM - 22 May 13

That duet between FUN. and P!nk is like a punctuation-fixated supergroup.
1 FAVORITE
11:06 AM - 22 May 13

Everything about the X Factor musical sounds bloody awful. But it's written by Harry Hill so I'm actually tempted.
4:48 PM - 22 May 13

Dick Twittington 10: Bjenny and Born

This week on my Twitter feed there was no The Voice, mercifully. But there was Eurovision, so you can't relax completely.

The Play That Goes Wrong at Trafalgar 2 has extended to the 1st of June so you've got no excuse - both @webcowgirl and I recommend it.
1 RETWEET
12:01 PM - 15 May 13

Oh, so the new Arcola 2 IS an adaptable space after all!
7:55 PM - 15 May 13

If I've got over 3 hours of Chekhov tonight, maybe a nap is in order.
12:24 PM - 17 May 13

Spoiler: His real name's Susan

Yes, that's the big shocker with the revelation of the Doctor's true name, Susan: He is his own granddaughter! Wait, what? We didn't find out? Well, I still think that's roughly how much sense the reveal would have made, so maybe it's for the best.

"The Name of the Doctor" by Steven Moffat, directed by Saul Metzstein. Spoilers after the cut.

Dick Twittington 9: The Sloppy Seconds

This week on my Twitter feed, it's my first trips of the year to Shakespeare's Globe and the weather predictably goes bad the moment I set foot in the place, and The Voice is on twice in a weekend, which is cruel and unusual punishment to viewers, frankly.

I'm not blogging #apprentice this year btw. I don't have time and @Chrisrubery & @tellybitching do it better anyway. Also I can't be arsed.
10:02 AM - 8 May 13

Now why did I immediately think of @givesyouHel ? http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/77557613.html
10:10 AM - 8 May 13

"She can't sing, she can't dance, but who cares, she walks like Rihanna." I mean... maybe she IS Rihanna.
10:42 AM - 8 May 13

There mite be giants

You know what's great about Doctor Who? The word TransMat. Every other piece of sci-fi has followed Star Trek's lead and called it a teleporter but no, a Matter Transporter got christened a TransMat in the Doctor Who universe in the 1960s and that's what it's still called today.

"Nightmare in Silver" by Neil Gaiman, directed by Stephen Woolfenden. Spoilers after the cut.

Book review: Wonderful Adventures of Mrs Seacole in Many Lands

I've been quite fascinated by Mary Seacole since first hearing about her, and her Wonderful Adventures of Mrs Seacole in Many Lands is free on kindle, and is surprisingly readable for a Victorian autobiography. A mixed-race Jamaican, the self-taught nurse or "doctress" as she described herself is remembered for her work in the Crimean War, where she had a better survival rate than Florence Nightingale, who was later to overshadow her completely. Prior to that though we get her earlier life in Jamaica where she learnt her nursing skills, and in various parts of Central America where she learnt how to run "hotels" that were essentially cheap bars and restaurants. That was the model she eventually used in the Crimea with her British Hotel, a cross between a bar and a hospital, set up independently when her services as a nurse were turned down by Nightingale's hospital and the other official channels.

Though apparently prone to exaggeration about some of her achievements in the Crimea, Wonderful Adventures of Mrs Seacole in Many Lands is still a very entertaining read, Seacole comes across as a bit of a shameless self-publicist (the narrative is occasionally interrupted to quote letters of recommendation from former patients and customers) and unapologetic about the fact that the British Hotel was intended to make money (ultimately unsuccessfully - the war ended a bit earlier than she expected, leaving her with a lot of leftover stock and she returned to London destitute.) But she's not entirely Mother Courage, there's also an obvious affection for the men in her care and a genuine wish to do good. She's also a surprisingly funny writer with a witty way with words that goes some way to explaining why she was so much more popular than Nightingale with the soldiers (other than the fact that she sold them booze which Nightingale disapproved of, that is,) she sounds like she'd have been good company who gave as good as she got.

This could also be a good book to have read if you're ever confronted with someone who tells you the world's going to hell in a handbasket and Victorian values were better - Seacole is frequently horrified by the looting and stealing being done by men on all sides, some of the violence and robbing from the dead is still shocking to read today.

Dick Twittington 8: She owes her career to The Fizz

This week on my Twitter feed, Jay Aston from Bucks Fizz auditions for The Voice and Twitter erupts in Rock Profile jokes. As is only correct.

Saying a vaguely sexual word in front of a cute boy isn't that good a flirt when the word's "syphilis." Basically, I'm bad at flirting.
7:02 PM - 1 May 13

Spellcheck want to change "anaemic" to "iceman." I like the X-Men too but that's silly.
1 FAVORITE
10:38 PM - 1 May 13

I really need to unearth my T-shirts from the wardrobe but I'm worried it'll jinx the good weather.
12:15 PM - 2 May 13

Fascinating Ada

I don't know about all this "actually crediting Dame Diana Rigg in the end credits" business. There seems to be an unspoken rule that you don't use actors' titles in credits, theatre programmes, posters etc, like you're not making a fuss - Ian McKellen didn't get credited as Serena last Christmas. I wonder whose idea it was to bung the title in the credits. Maybe someone on the production team wanted to show off about the show securing a Dame. I hope it wasn't Diana Rigg herself, I'd like to continue thinking she's awesome, not the female version of Sirben Kingsley.

"The Crimson Horror" by Mark Gatiss, directed by Saul Metzstein. Spoilers after the cut.

Dick Twittington 7: What's in my bra?

This week on my Twitter feed I finally get some temporary work, and can't go two minutes without spotting someone from off the telly.

First day temping after a v long break will be followed by 3.5 hours of Shakespeare. Let's see how that goes shall we?
12:27 PM - 24 Apr 13

Sleb Spot: Jodie Whitaker on the South Bank. Not crying, but I still recognised her.
6:25 PM - 24 Apr 13

Sleb Spot: Joe Dempsie, also South Bank.
6:36 PM - 24 Apr 13

Lava lump

This week's episode of Doctor Who looked good in previews, but I can't say I wasn't nervous about the writer of the LOLracism episode of Sherlock returning to Who.

"Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS" by Steve Thompson, directed by Mat King. Spoilers under the cut.

Book review: Paper Towns

Some of my Twitter friends have been absolutely raving about John Green's books for long enough that I wanted to see what the fuss was about, so I went for the sensible option of sampling the cheapest one I found. Paper Towns is a coming-of-age story set in Florida, in the couple of weeks leading up to high school graduation. Q and his friends are neither the most popular nor the least popular kids in school, geeky but not entirely lacking in social skills. When Q's next-door neighbour Margo, whom he's been in love with since they were children, disappears seemingly leaving a trail of clues behind her, they decide to try and interpret them, culminating in a road trip to find her, whether she be alive or dead.

There's a bit of the feel of a modern-day The Body/Stand By Me to Paper Towns, although the teenagers have mobile phones and some of the plot revolves around an unreliable online resource that totally isn't a Wikipedia spoof *cough* they still have to do most of their investigating through legwork and getting to know the more obscure corners of their state. The book's message that to some extent we all make fictionalised versions of the people around us, all different from each other and from the reality, is rather overstated by the end of the novel but overall it's a very sweet and well-written story.

Dick Twittington 6: A dozen middle-aged belly dancers

This week on my Twitter feed, I see a play that makes me a bit paranoid about my choice of seat on the bus, while Stratford-upon-Avon celebrates Shakespeare's birthday creatively.


I hadn't seen the RSC As You Like It trailer. Definitely a hippie festival vibe then. Could be interesting. http://youtu.be/qpEqv7DAPV4
4:43 PM - 17 Apr 13

The NT shop's selling Curious Incident T-shirts that say "I find people confusing." Can't say I'm not tempted.
1 FAVORITE
7:21 PM - 17 Apr 13

I can't decide what I think of this #intervaltweets
8:53 PM - 17 Apr 13

(Doctor) Who you gonna call?

Once again this week I wasn't actually in front of my TV while Doctor Who was on, so I had Twitter to spoil me on what the general reaction would be like. Which means I knew going in that it was completely irrelevant what I or anyone else thought of "Hide" as it will go down in history as the episode where Matt Smith mispronounces "Metebilis III." Twice. And the fans of the classic series weren't pleased. And... really, wasn't there anyone on set who could tell him how it was pronounced? I was imagine there's one or two Doctor Who geeks working on, you know, Doctor Who. Ooh, you see now I'm going to be imagining scenarios where all the crew hate Matt Smith and let him walk straight into the ire of the fanboys. Twice.

"Hide" by Neil Cross, directed by Jamie Payne. Spoilers under the cut.

Book review: Fold

I don't have any interest in poker or really know much about it but it can provide an interesting metaphor for men's relationships (I love Dealer's Choice) so I gave Tom Campbell's Fold a go when it was a kindle special offer. It follows a year of a monthly poker game between five men ("friends" would be pushing it as they all seem to actively dislike each other) and the tensions between them, gradually trying to build up a picture of the different reasons each of them keeps coming back to the game. Although technically the narrative takes the point of view of all five players at different times, it predominantly focuses on Nick, the bitter loser in the group, and his attempts to take down Doug, the aggressive alpha-male winner, starting by undermining Doug's intelligence and building up to the point of drugging him and trying to seduce his wife.

It's a pretty quick read and the story is interestingly told with some nice character progression but the fact that all the characters are so deeply unsympathetic meant it wasn't a novel I was always that keen to get back into once I'd put it down.

Dick Twittington 5: The brief moment of sunshine

This week on my Twitter feed, the Twitter theatricals try to guess the new Artistic Director of the National Theatre, so quite a few tweets to ignore if you're not fixated with London theatre. Of course "quite a few tweets to ignore" describes my feed at the best of times.

Best thing about N Greenwich station: The different *feel* to the crowd each night depending on who's playing the O2. Tonight: Meat Loaf.
7:18 PM - 10 Apr 13

"Please be aware this show contains low level lighting." Well DUH, it's a Katie Mitchell show.
7:38 PM - 10 Apr 13

St. John's Wood (or Sinjon's Wood if you're posh.) http://twitpic.com/cifqxw
11:06 PM - 10 Apr 13

The Hunt for Blue October

I do like the title "Cold War." I like that it's a metaphorical title because it features the return of the Ice Warriors (or one of them at least,) while at the same time being painfully literal as it plonks the Doctor and Clara on a Russian nuclear submarine in 1983.

"Cold War" by Mark Gatiss, directed by Douglas Mackinnon. Spoilers under the cut.

Book review: Whispers Underground

The "Rivers of London" series of supernatural crime novels by Ben Aaronovitch continues to be entertaining; having built stories first around the smaller rivers connected to the Thames (whose anthropomorphic incarnations continue to be recurring characters) and the Soho jazz scene, the third book takes DC Peter Grant to the London Underground, where an American student has been murdered.

I was a bit worried that Whispers Underground would create a supernatural underworld in the Tube that would be too similar to Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere, but it turns out to be a much more recognisable world than that, with the action soon moving away from the tracks to the sewers and then an entirely different kind of underground subculture. If anything I would have preferred it if the story had stuck closer to the Tube itself as it's an old network with a lot of quirks and plenty of scope to be given spooky twists, but for the most part this is a more generalised subterranean London, the specific references to the Tube ending up confined to the station names that provide the chapter headings (I do like that they end up at Mornington Crescent for the final chapter.)

How it all fits into the initial mystery plot does seem to get a bit vague in the third quarter of the novel but Aaronovitch does pull it all back together in the end, and this was another enjoyable read.

Dick Twittington 4: Danny's hairy arms

This week on my Twitter feed was, like most people's Twitter feeds, dominated by Thatcher's death and the wildly varied responses to it. But I also found time to discuss the equally harrowing matter of the new series of The Voice. And my job search continues to be frustratingly fruitless...

Bruno Mars is an abomination. Not apropos anything, it just bears mentioning now and then.
10:05 AM - 3 Apr 13

When did "customer service" become a euphemism for glorified chugging?A job interview that wasn't a waste of time would be a nice change ta.
2:45 PM - 3 Apr 13



Victoria. Um, something a bit rude seems to be going on in the middle there. http://twitpic.com/cgpy2n
1 FAVORITE
6:08 PM - 3 Apr 13

Leaf it mate, he's not worth it

So this Neil Cross bloke is going to be the saviour of Doctor Who? Apparently he done invented Luther but I don't watch it so I couldn't vouch for that. Anyway, any potential future showrunner who isn't Chibnall-shaped has to be something to cling on to. I don't think I could handle it if Doctor Who was forever at risk of "oh, did I not mention Will Mellor can see dead people?" being a thing. I mean, whatever, whoever replaces The Moff when he leaves will be fine I'm sure *cough* Whithouse is now available *cough*

Aaanyhoo.

"The Rings of Akhaten" by Neil Cross, directed by Farren Blackburn. Spoilers under the cut.

On a Clara day you can see forever

I can pretty much guarantee nowadays that if I don't watch a new Doctor Who episode "live" as it goes out, by the time I catch up Twitter will have informed me that it was both the best episode EVAR and the worst. Maybe we should just accept that the old "you can't please all the people all the time" adage applies with a vengeance, even to national treasures like Doctor Who. Right then, we're back with the second half of the 50th anniversary series, except the actual anniversary episode won't air until November, and I'm not entirely sure splitting it up into a fractured mess has really worked and etc. This year is basically going to be remembered like the year of "specials" that ended David Tennant's run, but with the specials all clumped together weirdly, isn't it? Anyway the "mini-movie" idea for the series is still going, complete with movie posters, and the idea behind "The Bells of Saint John" was apparently that this would be the Bond movie of the series.

"The Bells of Saint John" by Steven Moffat, directed by Colm McCarthy. Spoilers under the cut.